I’ve Got Peace Like a River
by Reverend Lane Williams
This is my mantra of late, “I am the peace of God. I am in the flow of a deep abiding peace. Peace. Peace. Peace.”
There is a mighty group of brave folks who have joined with me in Creating a Complaint Free World. We are wearing these purple, elastic bracelets and supporting one another in changing our lives from one of gossiping, criticizing and complaining to one of expressing love, compassion, and acceptance of ourselves and others. You may notice us changing our bracelets from one wrist to another as we catch ourselves criticizing or complaining. We are becoming conscious of our complaining and as we become conscious of it, we can choose to re-train ourselves. The goal is to go 21 days without expressing – out loud – any complaint, gossip or criticism, for we know that it takes 21 days to instill a new habit. We shall be the love of God, the peace of God expressed in our lives. We affirm that as we transform our lives, a ripple effect extends to include our community and ultimately the world.
It has been difficult for many of us. It has been painful for me to see how judgmental and controlling I can be. And as I become conscious of my incompetence in expressing my love and appreciation of myself and others, I am loving myself, accepting myself as I am even with my foibles. I am becoming peaceful in the process.
Here are the answers to some of the frequently asked questions:
How do I know if I’m complaining? To “Complain” is defined as “to express pain, grief, or discontent.” Surely, it makes sense to express pain, grief or discontent occasionally but most people do so constantly. In so doing, they are talking and thinking about what they do not want in their life and, thereby, attracting more pain, grief and discontent. Instead, think and talk about what you are grateful for. Talk about what you DO want and not what you DON’T want.
How often does the average person complain? About 15 – 30 times each day.
How long should it take for me to become complaint free? The average person who really gives this their best effort usually takes 4-10 months to go 21 consecutive days without complaining. This is not easy, but it’s worth it.
If I think a complaint but don’t speak it, do I have to move my bracelet? No, only if you speak a complaint aloud should you move your bracelet to the other arm. You will find that the more you stop articulating your complaints, the less complaining thoughts you have. Through this process you will reformat your mental hard drive and become a happier person.
How can we affect positive change without complaining? Complaining spreads negative energy and negative energy cannot create a positive outcome. Martin Luther King, Jr. didn’t stand before thousands in Washington, DC and shout, “Isn’t it awful how we’re being treated?” No. He shared his dream of a day when all children of all races would play and live together in peace and harmony. His vision galvanized our country and created positive change. For you to affect change, paint a bright vivid picture of the problem already solved and share this with as many people as you can.
Isn’t blowing off steam by complaining healthy? Actually, studies have shown that complaining about one’s health actually tends to make a person’s health worse.
How can I get someone else to stop complaining? Follow the words of Ben Franklin, “The best sermon is a good example.” As you begin to transform your life by not complaining, you will be an example of positive living and this will inspire all around you. Moreover, because you’re not participating in the griping, others will be far less likely to gripe to you.
